Toilet Humor in which the male race is defended and Mysteries Are Explained.

"Why don’t you aim better?"

This question, nay accusation, is an eternal source of conflict between the sexes. That it remains a mystery is because it has not been effectively explained, which in turn is because it’s a topic that doesn’t lend itself well to television interview.

“Well, Jay, I know I spayed the floor, but I tried to explain to my wife how this happened and she didn’t want to hear it.

Few men have sought to paint bathroom walls a faint yellow. But, alas, we are unfairly accused. Women, of course, think it’s a matter of aim, much like aiming a bullet at a target. If you point the barrel at the middle of the target—the projectile will fly true and straight. It won’t, by metaphor, drip all over target and onto the shooting bullet range.

The male anatomy is not so straightforward (most of the time), regardless of the presumptions of women. Things get twisted. What appears to be a sure aim, is perhaps ever-so slightly askew

You could say, it’s like using a garden hose if, now and then, the garden hose shrinks and gets covered with a plastic flap. And suddenly, instead of nourishing your petunias, your whole face is wet, and at the office, you see how long you can wait for the dark wet trail on your pants to dry before you walk back to your desk.

The most deadly accident is the hidden twist—the aim is careful, but, unbeknownst to the proprietor, there is just a slight deviation in the spout, leaving a stream across your wife’s bathroom slippers.

At least this is easier to deal with then the corollary:

“Why didn’t you put the seat down?”

“I don’t know. Why didn’t you put it up?”